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2021 was a GREAT year for my wardrobe but AWFUL for my finances and mental health (つω`｡)
At some point it felt like I was spiralling BAD into terrible choices and just dipping into my savings to purchase things to comfort me, instead of things I simply loved. So when 2022 was in reach, the gears started turning in my head. At first, in January, I wasn't very committed yet to the idea of sticking to a full no-buy for the problem items in my life.
But as February rolled around and I noticed I was consulting my partner more and thinking more carefully about purchases I decided to commit. I don't want my happiness to be dependant on the next thing I open in the mail, so I just want to get to June without making any lolita clothes purchases!
The last thing I actually purchased was on the 5th of January. The IW Apron Skirt popped up for a bargain price on Vinted and I felt that FOMO, that feeling that I NEEDED this thing.
And so I bought it and waited for it. Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful piece and I do love it, but the wait made me realize that at that point, I was making myself happy during the wait, feeling a small amount of true happiness when opening it and then... back to just feeling empty. Which doesn't sound great, right? So I sat there, thinking about what I needed to do. I had enough on my plate, but this felt too important to let go of, to simply forget about.
And so I resolved myself. No lolita purchases till June. No matter what pops up, how bad I want it. I must learn that I do not need everything I want, that I can't have everything I want. I'm not rich enough for that and it's not actually helping the root of my issue, which is that I'm plugging the hole my father's passing left with... stuff. Things that I like.
I've noticed that I'm feeling sad a lot more now. Remembering him a lot and thinking about how much I truly miss him. And this is a good thing. I have to truly grieve to heal. At least a little bit. And the only way is by quitting buying things to plug the sadness in me. So I will be writing here at the end of each month to check in. I'll be sewing more, drawing more and hopefully I can share it all here!
Thank you, IW Apron Skirt, for making me realize I needed some time away from buying pretty things and more time with my thoughts!
At some point it felt like I was spiralling BAD into terrible choices and just dipping into my savings to purchase things to comfort me, instead of things I simply loved. So when 2022 was in reach, the gears started turning in my head. At first, in January, I wasn't very committed yet to the idea of sticking to a full no-buy for the problem items in my life.
But as February rolled around and I noticed I was consulting my partner more and thinking more carefully about purchases I decided to commit. I don't want my happiness to be dependant on the next thing I open in the mail, so I just want to get to June without making any lolita clothes purchases!
The last thing I actually purchased was on the 5th of January. The IW Apron Skirt popped up for a bargain price on Vinted and I felt that FOMO, that feeling that I NEEDED this thing.
And so I bought it and waited for it. Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful piece and I do love it, but the wait made me realize that at that point, I was making myself happy during the wait, feeling a small amount of true happiness when opening it and then... back to just feeling empty. Which doesn't sound great, right? So I sat there, thinking about what I needed to do. I had enough on my plate, but this felt too important to let go of, to simply forget about.
And so I resolved myself. No lolita purchases till June. No matter what pops up, how bad I want it. I must learn that I do not need everything I want, that I can't have everything I want. I'm not rich enough for that and it's not actually helping the root of my issue, which is that I'm plugging the hole my father's passing left with... stuff. Things that I like.
I've noticed that I'm feeling sad a lot more now. Remembering him a lot and thinking about how much I truly miss him. And this is a good thing. I have to truly grieve to heal. At least a little bit. And the only way is by quitting buying things to plug the sadness in me. So I will be writing here at the end of each month to check in. I'll be sewing more, drawing more and hopefully I can share it all here!
Thank you, IW Apron Skirt, for making me realize I needed some time away from buying pretty things and more time with my thoughts!
